


Magic Isn't a Gift (But Memories Are)

by Kimium



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Accidental acquiring of magic, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Non Despair, Alternate Universe - University Students, Bickering, But I think it's happy, Consensual sexual intimacy, Dislike to tolerance to liking to love, Emotional Turmoil, Happiness is subjective after all, Happy Ending, Hint of Komahina, Hint of Nagito/Hajime, Hint of sexual intimacy, Kamukura not an emotionless robot because I enjoy writing him dynamic, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Majority of this fic is Kamukura/Nagito btw, Mild mention of bruises and hickeys, Mild mention of nudity, Nagito's limited perspective, One Shot, Rated M Just To Be Safe, Slightly oblivious Nagito, maybe? - Freeform, mild jealousy, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:24:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimium/pseuds/Kimium
Summary: One Shot. Alternate Universe - No Despair, University Students, and Magic.“I don’t,” Nagito groaned as he shifted, the branches of the tree sticking into his sides, “need your assistance.”Kamukura didn’t tilt his head or blink. He didn’t open his mouth with a retort. He didn’t even have the decency to twitch. Instead, he gave a single cool stare that cut right into Nagito’s being. Nagito frowned and shifted once more, but the shifting of his shirt and the hint of torn fabric froze all motion. A slight breeze picked up, ruffling the part of Nagito’s shirt that wasn’t caught on the branches."Being gifted magic isn't a blessing when Kamukura takes over Nagito's crush (Hajime) and it's up to Nagito to save Hajime and bring him back. OR: In where magic is unwittingly gifted, Nagito is angry, Kamukura falls in love, and practicing magic amounts to lines appearing in a blank book.





	Magic Isn't a Gift (But Memories Are)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!!
> 
> This story is a bit different from me so just give me a moment to disclaim: This fic is mainly Kamukura/Komaeda. Yes, there is a hint of Komahina at the end, but it's mainly Kamukura/Komaeda. Next, the TLDR to the entire situation (and I have a more detailed note at the end) is this: Nagito and Hajime were both pining for each other, Nagito was oblivious, and Kamukura knew and decided to shove them together all while falling for Nagito because he is still separate from Hajime.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this fic. I was tempted to cut if off earlier, but I'm glad I wrote more. I had a lot of fun writing this and it's so good to stretch and write Kamukura more. As always, feel free to leave kudos and comments as those always make my day and inspire me! Also, if you want to check my tumblr out, message me there, or support this story by reblogging/liking the link, my tumblr is right [here](http://www.kimium.tumblr.com).

“I don’t,” Nagito groaned as he shifted, the branches of the tree sticking into his sides, “need your assistance.”

Kamukura didn’t tilt his head or blink. He didn’t open his mouth with a retort. He didn’t even have the decency to twitch. Instead, he gave a single cool stare that cut right into Nagito’s being. Nagito frowned and shifted once more, but the shifting of his shirt and the hint of torn fabric froze all motion. A slight breeze picked up, ruffling the part of Nagito’s shirt that wasn’t caught on the branches. It also ruffled Kamukura’s long dark hair, a curtain of inky blackness against the navy night sky. Shivering more out of reflex than a reaction to the weather, Nagito gingerly tested his arms, curling his fingers, attempting something, anything. Nothing. Not even a spark or a small tingle of wind. Attempting again, Nagito exhaled and dug in his mind, searching for a solution. Perhaps if he wiggled his arm like so? Or perhaps if he could just angle his torso just right, he could jostle the caught fabric? Magic was an option but, Nagito glanced downward and spotted his staff on the ground, it would be risky without the staff. Or maybe—

“You’re not strong enough to do magic without a staff.” Kamukura’s voice cut deeply into Nagito.

Nagito whipped his head and shot another glare. “I also wasn’t asking for your commentary. Go home.”

“And leave my poor, pitiful Master stuck like a cat in a tree?” Kamukura’s insult surprisingly hurt more accompanied with his deadpan tone and blank expression.

“Don’t call me master. I’m not pitiful.” Nagito bent his arms, “I can get out. I’m just worried about my clothing—”

The branch slipped underneath and a loud crack filled the air. A wheeze escaped Nagito’s throat, high and sharp. A yelp followed, echoing hollowly into the night. Gravity took Nagito’s entire upper half and dragged it downward. Blood rushed to Nagito’s head and his vision distorted and turned. A sharp tug on his ankle stopped gravity. Nagito exhaled sharply, wincing. The breeze picked up and Nagito swayed like a pendulum on a string. The two branches that had trapped his ankle weren’t budging and embarrassment welled hotly into his body, staining Nagito’s cheeks brightly. Crimson hues danced merrily upon Nagito’s face, chortling and delightfully making an idiot out of him. The branches tightened with the wind as Nagito swayed in the air, as though reminding him it was only because of their kindness that Nagito hadn’t already plummeted to the ground.

“You’re such a handful.” Kamukura’s voice danced warmly against Nagito’s ear.

Nagito angled his gaze sideways. Kamukura was floating in the air, his dark wings barely moving in an effortless manner. His arms were also crossed. If Nagito didn’t know any better, he’d think Kamukura was ready to fall asleep standing up. Hissing, Nagito swung at Kamukura. His aim was entirely off and his arm merely swayed uselessly into the night sky. Blood rushed further into Nagito’s head and dizziness slowly seeped into his vision, blurring everything.

“If I’m such a handful then just give me my staff and I’ll fix this. You can go home.”

“You’ve exhausted yourself. You don’t have the ability to fix this on your own.” Kamukura’s words bluntly stabbed into Nagito.

Opening his mouth to protest, Nagito’s words filled his tongue, but nothing escaped. One moment he was still upside down, blood rushing to his head. The next he was cradled against Kamukura’s chest, arms wrapped around Nagito, steadying him. A warm heartbeat pulsed against Nagito’s ear and heat wrapped around Nagito’s cooled body. The ground soon met Nagito’s feet as Kamukura set him down gingerly. Wobbling, Nagito pressed his hand to his head, attempting to ease the rush of blood flowing properly through his body. Something long was pressed into Nagito’s hand and helped keep him standing. Nagito curled his fingers around his wooden staff and tried to swipe at Kamukura with his other hand. Once again, his fingers met air.

“Picking a fight with me isn’t wise with your current state.” Kamukura dully intoned. If he was the kind of man with expression, Nagito knew this was the part where Kamukura rolled his eyes.

Except Kamukura wasn’t a man of emotion.

“Again, your commentary unwanted and unneeded.” Nagito snapped, attempting to stand upright. “I can make it home now. Go.”

Wobbling forward a few steps, Nagito barely made it three paces before his legs gave out. Kamukura caught him and hoisted Nagito up into his arms once again. Nagito wiggled, his mind screaming to stop because Kamukura was so warm and suddenly the shivering was returning with a vengeance. A sour taste overtook the bitterness, following by a burning only swallowing a coal could do to a person. Everything within Nagito was licking the dull sour flames of his heart, spreading a poison that spilled thinly through Nagito’s lips.

“I’m don’t want your assistance.” Nagito said for the second time that night.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not offering it.” Kamukura replied, adjusting Nagito’s weight with ease. “Now, you can be stubborn and return home on your knees or you can swallow your pride and let me take you back. Your choice.”

His choice. Nagito’s face burned along with his insides and tears welled in the corners. His legs jolted weakly, the muscles protesting, and his mind ached for rest. Kamukura remained standing, holding Nagito to his chest, like an injured deer. The sour flames burned hotter and Nagito wanted to kick himself as the tears fell down his cheeks and his voice wavered.

“Take me home.”

“As you wish, Master.”

“Don’t call me that.” Nagito bit out.

Kamukura adjusted Nagito and continued to walk.

~

Nagito didn’t always have magic.

That night, as Nagito lay in bed, eyes closed, curled against his pillows, the memory rushed at him. It mugged him violently, as all memories that should die have the tendency of doing. The knife of recollection was sharp and pierced Nagito with an unforgiving accuracy. Blood seeped into Nagito’s brain and coated his vision with nothing but images of the past.

It started with a book. Or maybe it started with Hajime. The minor details of blame never were important. Origins weren’t as crucial as movies and books tended to play them up as. It wasn’t the starting point that mattered, just the journey that Nagito was currently strapped along, flying at a bullet-like speed.

Regardless, Nagito’s brain skipped over the part of how he and Hajime found the book, blurring the details of getting lost in one of the university’s many libraries, how each shelf started to look the same, how the wall of books slowly morphed into a maze. Those weren’t important. Nor was the how they stumbled upon the book important. What was important was when they touched it. Nagito’s brain easily supplied the memory of how heavy the book was in his hands, how the pages were uneven and uncut, how the leather of the book was genuine. Nagito’s fingers still retained the imprints of the design on the leather, each bump and dip forming a kaleidoscope of stars and planets. The memory danced at how the bow the thick pieces of leather binding the book shut was loose, how Nagito’s fingers itched to tug and pull the bow apart.

 _“Hey,”_ Hajime’s voice warm and full of life filled Nagito’s head with a hollow sweetness of sound, _“wonder what’s inside.”_

“No!” Present day Nagito screamed. “No, don’t even entertain the idea. Don’t suggest we open this. Burn it. Burn the book. Let the flames of hell take its tool back. Or toss it into the ocean, where it will rest with the Kraken and demons of the deep.”

 _“Let’s open and find out.”_ Past Nagito said instead before his fingers undid the bow with ease and the leather fell to the ground, silently sealing their fate.

The book opened on its own. Nagito could still feel the gusts and pull of the wind around them. Papers from the book flew in the whirlwind and light soon shone from the book, engulfing Nagito in a brightness that blinded. Dark swirls ran up Nagito’s arms and then faded into his skin like an invisible branding.

 ** _“You wish to have my power?”_** A voice asked. **_“Oh, seeker and opener of the book?”_**

“No!” Present day Nagito screamed. “No, go away! Go back into your book. Go far, far, far, away from me and Hajime.”

 _“What?”_ Past Nagito asked instead because he was a fool. _“What power?”_

 ** _“I will grant you power. I will grant both of you power_**.” The voice continued.

The memory cut off then, like an old film reel snipped in the middle. Darkness consumed Nagito and when he came to the library’s ground met him, a staff was in his hands, and in Hajime’s place was Kamukura.

Kamukura who was holding the book staring at Nagito with a blank expression.

Hajime never had a blank look on his face. Hajime was expressive and joyful. His eyes twinkled and his voice was sharp. Hajime smiled too, smiled at everyone but most importantly always smiled at Nagito like he was the sun, moon, and stars trapped on Earth.

This man wasn’t Hajime.

That’s where the memory ended. As it always did.

Nagito opened his eyes and rolled over. Kamukura sat on the floor, prompted up against Nagito’s desk, eyes closed. The wings were gone, hidden away, and he didn’t move even when Nagito blatantly stared at him. Irritation tingled at the edges of Nagito’s mind. Kamukura wasn’t asleep.

“I hate you.” Nagito muttered into the darkness of his room. “Give Hajime back.”

Kamukura slowly opened his eyes, just a crack. “If I could, I would have already.” His voice was dull. “You’ll just have to use your own power to get him back yourself.”

Reality twisted the knife deeper into Nagito’s heart. Kamukura wasn’t his classmate. Kamukura wasn’t his friend. Kamukura wasn’t his confidant or his support. Kamukura wasn’t Nagito’s crush. Kamukura wasn’t Hajime.

Kamukura wasn’t Nagito’s secret love.

If Nagito wanted Hajime back he’d have to tear the reality he was currently living to shreds.

Cruel. Horrible. Tragic. Reality continued to stab Nagito. It continued even as Nagito shut his eyes and attempted to let sleep drag him under.

~

The next morning Nagito woke with a headache and dry mouth. Groaning, he rolled over and looked up at his ceiling. A full minute passed before Nagito’s brain helpfully reminded him it was the weekend. Exhaling slowly, Nagito almost shut his eyes, his brain telling him to stay in bed under the warm covers. Except, he had a job to do. Nagito sat up and winced, his vision dancing in swirls. Groaning, Nagito fell forward, clutching his blankets with a white knuckled grip. Waiting the appropriate time for the dizziness to fade, Nagito pushed himself upward slowly. Blankets were shoved to the side and Nagito swung his legs out of bed. The coolness of his hardwood floor greeted Nagito’s bare feet. Across from the bed was Nagito’s desk, Kamukura gone. Pale morning light trickled in despite the closed blinds. The room remained still, a bubble of silence and thoughts, but popped when the door opened gently and Kamukura stood by the entrance.

Nagito scowled. “Get out.”

“I’m not inside.” Kamukura replied.

“Good. Keep it that way and leave me alone.” Nagito stood up and walked over to his closet.

“Very well.” The door shut softly.

Nagito spared a glance at his bedroom door before he opened his closet. Pulling a pair of jeans and a T shirt out, Nagito quickly changed, tossing his dirty clothes into his hamper, before exiting. Kamukura wasn’t in the hallway and Nagito was grateful. Stepping into his washroom, Nagito quickly combed his hair and washed his face before going to the kitchen. Kamukura was at the table, toying with an apple from Nagito’s fruit bowl. The apple gleamed a dull red in the light. Nagito opened his fridge, grabbed the loaf of bread, and put a couple of slices into his toaster. Staring at the toaster was dull but preferable. When the toaster was done, Nagito buttered his toast and ate it at the kitchen counter, staring out the window by his sink. As he ate the crumbs from the toast fell into the sink and onto the counter. Nagito finished the toast off with a sigh, washed his hands and wiped the counter, before turning to Kamukura. He was still toying with the apple.

“If you’re not going to eat the apple, put it back into my fruit bowl.” Nagito grumbled.

Kamukura picked the apple up and took a big bite. The bite was loud and Nagito could hear the crisp crunch from the apple. He then dully looked over at Nagito, the red of his eyes mimicking the apple in his hand. A bit of the apple’s clear juice ran down his palm and wrist. Nagito bristled.

“Don’t try to pick a fight with me this early in the morning.”

“What fight?” Kamukura asked. “I’m doing no such thing.”

“Right.” Nagito walked out of the kitchen, “Clean up after yourself when you’re done.”

“Of course, Master.”

Nagito winced (a “don’t call me that” on the tip of his tongue), pausing for a fraction of a second in the hallway, before he continued walking away.

~

Thursdays were the hardest days for Nagito. Classes continued, as they always did, but now the seat beside Nagito was empty. It was the only class out of their entire university career that Hajime and Nagito had shared. Had, being the key word. Trudging his way towards the building Nagito stopped outside the door and stared inside. Like most university classes they had no assigned seating. And like all university classes, people picked where they enjoyed sitting and stuck to it. Nagito didn’t need to close his eyes to see Hajime sitting in the corner they had claimed, books out, pen in hand. Clutching his bag tightly, Nagito swallowed a lump in his throat. His legs buckled, as though wondering if he should move and leave. It would be so easy to walk out and away from the room riddled in bittersweet memories. Or were his legs buckling because he should walk inside? The thought made the lump in Nagito’s throat burn and swell. Yet, a small voice in Nagito’s brain, logical and practical, reminded Nagito that he had to attend class.

“Are you going to stand there the entire time?”

Nagito jolted and turned his gaze to one of his classmates who looked at him with a raised expression. Giving a weak smile, Nagito stepped aside. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“It’s fine.” His classmate then titled their head. “Though we should go in before class starts yes?”

No, it wasn’t fine. Nagito wanted to shout. No, he couldn’t walk into the classroom, not with the memories of Hajime swirling in his brain.

But, instead Nagito gave another weak smile and nodded. “You’re right.”

Then, without another thought, Nagito stepped into the classroom and headed to his seat, his heart twisting at the empty seat beside him. His classmate, the one at the door, followed and sat behind Nagito, shuffling their bag.

“Say,” They said as Nagito pretended to fiddle with his bag, “what happened to your friend, the one who sits beside you? It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

Nagito bit his lip, thankful that they were seeing the back of his head. “He’s… away for a bit. He’ll return soon.”

“A vacation in the middle of the school year?” They asked with a half laugh. “He’s lucky to have you in this class. You can help catch him up when he returns.”

When, not if. Nagito clung onto that word and turned, giving a polite smile. “You’re right. I can.”

~

Nagito didn’t have the book, the one that he and Hajime had opened.

Sort of.

It wasn’t because of some strange magical incident. The book didn’t go up in smoke or fade away. There wasn’t some sort of strange magical law that dictated Nagito couldn’t have the book now that he had magic. No, the reason was a great deal simpler than any strange magical phenomenon. It also wasn’t something so mundane as losing the book. No, the reason Nagito didn’t have the book wasn’t meant in a literal sense. It was metaphorical— the book was empty. Sure, there were pages, the same uneven pages that Nagito had first seen on that fateful day. It was just, the pages were empty. Nothing was written on them. No ink, no marks, no indication anything had been on them in the first place. The book was blank, as though the company manufacturing them had simply bound together a notebook rather than a book with printed words. No matter how many times Nagito had flipped through the book, the words never returned. Nothing returned. Marks faded. Nagito had tried writing in the book as an experiment. The ink didn’t take and pencils left nothing behind.

Going through the book was a useless, fruitless endeavour. Nagito wasn’t foolish enough to hold hope that the book would somehow have words magically reappear on them. So, he had tucked the book away in his desk, like a journal. The world’s most useless journal. The world’s most useless resource. Learning magic depended solely on Nagito’s trial and error. Kamukura, if he knew anything, would barely inform Nagito of the rules. (Not that Nagito wanted Kamukura’s help.)

~

After class Nagito went to a secluded place in the park to practice magic. Trial and error were his friends and it was best to be outside when practicing. Magic could, would, and had blown up in Nagito’s face. So, practicing outside was the safest option. Magic was akin to a snake with a bomb strapped to it. The wrong motion, the wrong tune in the proverbial snake charmer’s flute and Nagito would be in a world of trouble.

That was just how magic was. Again, learned through trial and error.

So, as Nagito sat on the grass he closed his eyes and filtered through the information he had learned.

1) Magic was easiest to control with a staff or medium. It didn’t have to be anything fancy, just a focal point for Nagito to concentrate on.

2) Magic worked best on nature. Less on man made objects.

3) Magic could do whatever Nagito wanted provided he had direction.

4) Direction was a vague term and magic liked specifics; no loopholes. Clear wording that couldn’t be taken any other way was the best.

And 5) Magic was exhausting. Stamina only built through hard work.

Nagito just hoped that he wouldn’t have a repeat of the night before. No way he was going to suck up his pride for the second time and have Kamukura carry him home. Nagito practiced for three hours. When he finished his legs wobbled but he could still stand and walk. Hoisting his bag, Nagito did just that.

~

Kamukura was on the couch, a book in hand, when Nagito returned. Scowling, Nagito took his shoes off and left them neatly at the entrance. “Did you simply laze around all day?”

“Not even a “I’m home”? how rude.” Kamukura asked mildly as he flipped the page of the book. “And for the record I’m a magical being. I don’t have a job so lazing around isn’t a concept that applies to me.”

“Is that your way of asking for a job?” Nagito asked. “I can give you one.”

Kamukura shot a side eye glance. “By all means, Master, give me something to do.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You say that, but you’re the one who opened the book. Hence, you’re technically the Master.”

Nagito groaned. “Fine. Then if I’m the one in charge I ask that you not call me “Master”. Or is that not how this works?”

Kamukura stared at Nagito. “What do you want me to call you then?”

“We’ve known each other for four weeks and only now you ask me?”

“We’ve known each other for four weeks and only now you make a request?”

Nagito swore under his breath. “Just… call me Komaeda.”

“Komaeda?” Kamukura rolled the name around in his mouth, like he was sucking on a hard candy. Nagito shivered. “What would the neighbours think?”

Nagito raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? I don’t care what they think.”

“We’re living together and I’m calling you by your last name.”

Living together. Nagito glared at the phrase, as though it were a physical entity. “Again, are you trying to pick a fight with me? People can live together and not be close. In fact, they don’t even have to like each other. Rent and bills don’t need people to be very close in order to be paid.”

“Is that what this is?” Kamukura sat up, book set on the coffee table. “We’re just living together for convenience?”

Nagito exhaled sharply. “You don’t need to be here. Hajime has his own place. You’re obviously not Hajime but if you’ve taken over Hajime the least you could do is check up on his place instead of making me do it.”

Kamukura tilted his head and continued as though Nagito had said nothing. “Though, if I were Hajime you wouldn’t see us living together as a convenience. In fact, you’d love that. You don’t have what the neighbours think of me but if I were Hajime you would. You’d have him call you Nagito and preen at the idea your neighbours would jump to the conclusion you two are a couple.”

Nagito didn’t remember crossing his kitchen or shoving Kamukura on the couch, pressing his hands tightly into Kamukura’s shirt so he could rip Kamukura up. All Nagito could remember was the red that flashed in his gaze and the ache that blossomed in his heart. Pain, anger, frustration, it all clouded Nagito’s brain in a swirl of thick mist that never fully disappeared.

Kamukura had the audacity to continue his blank stare. Nagito wanted to rip the expression of Kamukura’s face.

“Don’t talk about Hajime and me as though you know us.” Nagito hissed. “Don’t make assumptions about our friendship. Don’t speak about Hajime as though you’re familiar with him.”

“It’s not an assumption if the facts are clearly lain out.” Kamukura reached up and touched Nagito’s hand. “You like Hajime. You like him more than a friend. The reason for your hatred towards me is obvious.”

Nagito opened his mouth to cut Kamukura off. Kamukura kept on going.

“I understand where you came to the assumption, I took Hajime over. After all, one moment Hajime was there and the next I’m in his place.” Kamukura then dug his fingers into Nagito’s and pried them off one by one. “You think Hajime is lost or trapped by me.”

Kamukura then ripped Nagito’s fingers completely off and with a burst of momentum, swung his body and reversed their positions. Nagito was pushed into the couch and Kamukura was now weighing on top of him. Nagito struggled but Kamukura was very firm.

“Consider this, Komaeda,” Kamukura quietly said, “consider that I’m just the manifestation of magic gifted to Hajime and this is just a result of Hajime not able to control the magic gifted to him.”

Nagito gaped and then glared at Kamukura. “You’re just saying things. If you truly were just a result of a lack of magical control then why can’t you undo the spell? You are from the book and that means you have mastery over magic.”

For a second, Nagito saw something under Kamukura’s gaze, something shifting. It faded almost as fast as Nagito saw it.

“You’re really clueless.” Kamukura replied. “You’re the master of this magic.”

“Master! What does that even mean?” Nagito bit out. “I don’t understand how I can be considered the Master. I don’t even know why the book gifted me magic. What is the purpose of this? What do I need magic for? I wasn’t asking for this and unless we’re in some cliché anime and I need to save the world or something, I’m failing to see why I’ve been given magic.”

“Magic just is, Komaeda.” Kamukura answered. “Does everything in this world need a reason? Every action? Every living thing?”

“Yes!” Nagito snapped. “It doesn’t have to be monumental. Purpose is what drives us to the future. So, yes, it does!”

“Fine.” Kamukura leaned forward, his hair falling and creating a curtain around them. “Perhaps magic has always been in this world and we just need it as a balance for reality. Maybe this has nothing to do with you or Hajime. You two were just unlucky and were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Unlucky…” Nagito muttered. “Luck isn’t something you can control. If someone could control their luck, they’d be miserable. And a single person with magic isn’t what I’d call balancing reality. That isn’t logical.”

“The world doesn’t have to run on human logic.” Kamukura leaned closer. “So, instead of whining about your situation, you fix it.”

Nagito saw red again. He snarled. “I. Am. TRYING. This ability didn’t come with instruction manuals or a textbook. Instead, all I have is an ability and an apathetic asshole who took over my best friend. Someone who won’t help me out.”

“You’re the one always rejecting my assistance.” Kamukura replied, his tone suddenly taking a darker edge.

“Assistance isn’t mocking me when I fail.” Nagito bit back.

“It would be easier to work with you if you just opened your eyes and threw your hatred of me away.” Kamukura pressed. “Think about it, Komaeda. Hajime can’t control the magic and I cannot undo this unless you—”

Nagito gaped as the words hit his ears. “You’re saying this is my fault? It’s my fault? My inability to fix this is what’s causing the problems? You can’t do anything unless I figure shit out? You… you’re the worst! Don’t throw blame on me. Don’t—”

“Shut up.” Kamukura snapped in the quiet way a branch stepped on snaps. “I don’t care if you’re insulted. Bottom line is you have magic and instead of wallowing in self pity over Hajime you’re the only one who can fix this.”

“Again, I would if I knew what the hell to do!” Nagito tried to move and kick Kamukura off. “But you’re useless and unhelpful—”

“Ask for my assistance.”

“—and rude—”

“Except you’re too stubborn.”

“—and you’re apathetic—”

“And you’re dense.”

“—I hate you—”

“You don’t need to dislike me…”

“—and I—”

“If you could just be quiet for a second...”

Kamukura leaned in and pressed his lips to Nagito. All the words on Nagito’s tongue were swallowed by Kamukura as he pressed Nagito into the couch. His arms were a cage keeping Nagito trapped. Their legs soon tangled as Kamukura changed his angle, his lips expertly prying Nagito’s mouth open. Tongues curled together and Kamukura sucked on Nagito’s tongue until he had pried every word from Nagito, eating them whole. When they parted, Nagito’s lips were tingling and Kamukura’s face was pink. Swallowing, Nagito tasted Kamukura, a hint of apple on his lips, before glaring.

“You can’t just—”

Kamukura kissed Nagito again. He kissed Nagito with a fever that left a burn within. Nagito moaned and their kiss deepened until all Nagito could think of was how smooth Kamukura kissed and how warm their bodies were together. When they parted, Nagito gulped for air before shoving Kamukura. Kamukura fell sideways and Nagito finally sat up.

“You kissed me.” Nagito half whispered. “You think that stealing kisses from me will make me like you?”

“What else will make you quit raging for a second?” Kamukura sat up, blatantly ignoring Nagito’s question. “I’m not asking you out on a date nor to be in a committed relationship with me. I simply want you to know how a civil interaction could go, you just wouldn’t be quiet.”

“Could go? You mean instead of me yelling at you, we should just kiss?” Nagito dully asked.

“I’m saying you don’t have to pick a fight with me all the time.”

Nagito glared. “You’re the one who picks—”

Kamukura kissed Nagito again. When he parted, he nibbled on Nagito’s lip before pulling completely away. “I’m saying we started on the wrong foot.” Kamukura sighed. “Apathy is just part of my nature and you can deal with it. However, your pride and your hatred towards me are both annoying and meaningless.”

Kamukura then leaned closer to Nagito. Nagito flushed. “Besides, you didn’t hate those kisses. It proves we can attempt to get along. So, even if you hate me, swallow that hatred and use me to help improve your magic. Then, you can get Hajime back and you can kiss him instead.”

“Kiss…”

“Well?” Kamukura asked. “Either we go back to snide remarks or we at least try to work in a civilized nature, one with less distain thrown around.”

Nagito groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. Kamukura was right and Nagito’s heart twisted hotly in his chest. Even if the part about Hajime and the lack of control was possibly wrong, Nagito had no way to confirm it. What he could confirm was working with Kamukura, even begrudgingly, was the best way to ensure that Hajime returned.

It only took them four weeks and many stolen kisses on the couch to come to this conclusion.

“Fine. But I’m laying ground rules. Don’t kiss me again. Give me advice regarding magic. And go over to Hajime’s apartment and check on it once in a while.”

“Fine.” Kamukura replied. “Then it’s a deal?”

He lifted his hand like a westerner would for a shake. Nagito eyed it before he took Kamukura’s hand into his own. It was warm.

“Deal.”

They shook hands. As soon as their hands parted, Nagito stood up. “I’m making dinner. Then, after we can discuss magic.”

“Make a stir fry.” Kamukura requested.

Nagito rolled his eyes but walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling the ingredients out for a stir fry.

~

He had said no kissing, but as Nagito lay in bed that night he pressed his fingers to his lips. It wasn’t his first kiss, but it was the first kiss that was so… involved. Nagito had kissed only as a teen growing up, mainly giggling and fumbling in the dark or due to dares. All those kisses were soft and innocent, filled with wonder and embarrassment. Kamukura had kissed like he wanted to consume Nagito. He had chased the words and the phrases from Nagito’s lips into his own mouth. He had kissed with passion and strength.

Nagito groaned and rolled over in his bed, pulling the covers closer to his body. Shutting his eyes, Nagito chased the feeling of their kisses to the corner. Sleep washed over Nagito and took the memories, turned them into dreams, and battered them against Nagito’s brain like water beating driftwood against rocks.

When Nagito woke his lips still tingled and his chest ached.

~

“No, you do it like this.” Kamukura softly muttered, waving his hand in a demonstration.

Nagito bit his lip and swallowed the comment that sprung to his lips. The day was slowly melting into twilight and soon they’d have to leave the park. Arguing at this point wasn’t worth the energy. Mimicking Kamukura’s motions, Nagito watched as the orange in his palm turned back into an apple, the red bleeding in until there was no trace of any other colour.

“I did it.” Nagito muttered.

Kamukura reached for the apple and plucked it from Nagito’s hand. He bit into it. “Still a bit citrusy but it’s good.”

“Wasn’t asking for a diagnosis.” Nagito sighed but held little heat in his voice.

“Just offering an observation.” Kamukura bit into the apple again. “Home?”

“Sure.” Nagito stood, stretching in multiple directions, working the aches out.

They walked back to Nagito’s place in relative silence. The only sound was the crunch of Kamukura eating the apple. When they entered Nagito’s place, Nagito flicking the lights on quickly, he turned to Kamukura who was picking at the core of the apple with his fingers.

“I’m making pasta tonight.” Nagito announced. “I hope you like Western food.”

Kamukura shrugged but didn’t stop him.

That night Nagito dreamt of the kiss. In his dream he was pressed into the couch by Kamukura who wormed his way into Nagito’s lap, pressing his weight against Nagito. Their kiss was fire and warmth. Their kiss was passion and adoration. Their kiss was everything Nagito desired in a kiss: weighty, strong, devouring. Minus Hajime.

When Nagito woke his brain fizzled and his heart jumped. Pressing his fingers to his lips, Nagito swallowed and got out of bed, shoving the dream far away.

~

School. Magic practice. Dinner. Sleep.

The routine continued for two weeks. Nagito easily allowed the pattern to roll over him. Relations with Kamukura was limited to few words and meals together, but it was something that wasn’t hostile. That in itself had to be a good thing, right?

Nagito didn’t have the answer.

The following week Nagito changed his pajamas to regular clothes and grimaced at the ease of his ability. Kamukura, for all the silence and clipped words, was helpful. “If only he had been nicer to Kamukura earlier” rang hotly in Nagito’s brain, mocking him every time he successfully completed a harder task. Nagito wanted that part of his brain to silence itself forever.

“Are you going to keep staring at your wall?” Kamukura asked, opening Nagito’s door.

“Don’t come in.” Nagito half mumbled. “I’ll be downstairs in a moment.”

“Just don’t be late.” Kamukura said so softly that Nagito almost missed it.

Don’t be late. Nagito exhaled slowly. Hajime’s voice rang in his mind. Shoving the memory away, Nagito completed his morning routine of washing up and heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Kamukura was once again at the table, only this time he was eating some toast, crumbling the slightly burnt crust onto the small plate underneath.

“You can turn the heat down on my toaster if you’re burning the toast.” Nagito said as he opened the fridge.

Kamukura crunched the last bit of burnt crust. “I think that’s the first civil thing you’ve said to me that isn’t magic related.”

“I’ve offered dinner. Was I not polite enough then?” Nagito asked.

“Let me rephrase that: this is the first mundane thing you’ve said to me.”

Nagito snorted but blushed a little. “Are you implying everything else I’ve said isn’t mundane?”

“Everything else you’ve said has been boring.” Kamukura blandly replied. “All business.” He then crumbled the rest of the crumbs from his fingers onto the plate.

Nagito almost pointed out their fight wasn’t business but he bit his tongue. In a way, their fight, as heated as it became (with words and actions) ended up with the decision to be civil. An endeavour that, at the moment, was wide and dark, bottomless.

“Fine, you win that one.” Nagito shut the fridge door. “But seriously, turn the toaster’s heat down or you may cause the smoke alarm to go off.”

“Duly noted.”

“Good.” Nagito then put his own bread into the toaster. “I don’t want to deal with my smoke alarm or hear that it went off from my neighbours.”

“I’ll do my best to not have that occur.” Kamukura drawled.

“Thanks.”

Nagito’s toast popped out of the toaster and with that as a distraction, Nagito began to take it out and butter it. Munching on the toast, Nagito chewed, thankful for the excuse to remain silent. Polishing off his toast, Nagito washed his dishes before turning to Kamukura. Kamukura was still at the table with his dirty plate. Raising his soapy hand, Nagito coughed.

“Your plate.”

“You’re volunteering to wash my dishes?”

“It’s only a plate and yes, I am.” Nagito rolled his eyes, motion his hand. “Are you going to take my offer or not?”

“If you insist…” Kamukura stood up, plate in hand.

“I’m just offering to wash your plate. It’s not a big deal.” Nagito took the plate from Kamukura.

Kamukura stepped back. “Thanks.”

Nagito rinsed the plate and (did not) smile. “No problem.”

~

After classes and when he was home, Nagito headed upstairs to his bedroom. Tossing his bag onto his bed, Nagito opened it and set his textbooks on his desk. Opening his desk’s drawer, Nagito went to put his pencil case back when his eye caught the book. Gently and gingerly Nagito set his pencil case off the side and ran his fingers over the cover of the book. The bumps and grooves of the leather hit his fingers gently. Lifting the book, Nagito ran his fingers over the spine, staring at the leather. He then lightly touched the cover, going to open it before pausing.

“Idiot, there is nothing inside.” Nagito half muttered before he opened the book anyways.

Inside were the pages, still faded, not quite yellow but not white. The edges of the paper were still rough, uncut, but on the first page was a line of black ink. Black ink swirled and curled in letters. Nagito couldn’t read it and it was only one line, but it was there.

He nearly forgot to breathe. Nagito forced air into his lungs and exhaled roughly. Tracing the inks with his fingers lightly, Nagito swallowed. The ink was there, it hadn’t been removed, and despite not being able to read it, Nagito’s heart fluttered. It was an effort to set the book back into the desk and walk away. His journey back down the stairs to the kitchen was weightless, almost mindless. Nagito barely noticed he was standing by the kitchen table until Kamukura coughed.

“Sorry.” Nagito blinked. “Just thinking.”

Kamukura stared at him. “Something happened, just now.”

Nagito’s brain flashed to the book in his desk’s drawer. “No.” He automatically spat out.

“Liar.” Kamukura said without a bite to his tone. “Do I need to guess?” He stared at Nagito for a long moment. “Something to do with the book, perhaps?”

How did he know? Nagito opened his mouth before he flushed furiously. Kamukura didn’t give a smile nor a cheer of victory. “I guessed right.” He stated like he was simply stating the weather. “What happened?”

Nagito almost opened his mouth to tell Kamukura he could “figure it out by himself since he’s so clever” but immediately Nagito swallowed those words. They were too… packed. “The notebook has writing in it. Just a line.” He said instead.

Kamukura hummed. “Must be a sign of you mastering your magic. Perhaps if all of the book’s lines reappear, you’ll be able to get Hajime back.”

Able to get Hajime back. Nagito’s breath was swept up roughly with those words. He stared at Kamukura with wide eyes. Kamukura simply shrugged and hummed again. “I’m merely speculating.”

Something warm blossomed in Nagito’s chest, something that surged and coiled within him. It wrapped delicately around his heart and soon blossomed out of his lungs and throat. Hope. It beamed hotly, overtaking him in a manner that consumed all Nagito had. He forced air into his lungs and shoved the hope down, not wanting it to blind him.

“I see.” Nagito squeaked out. “That’s interesting. We’ll just have to see, huh?” Giving a weak smile Nagito shoved the rest of his thoughts away. “I’ll make dinner.”

“Okay.” Kamukura deadpanned, tone neutral.

~

The evening found Nagito laying in bed, mind swirling. If Kamukura’s hypothesis was correct… Nagito held back a small sigh of joy and rolled over in his bed. Closing his eyes, Nagito fell asleep with a soft smile on his face.

~

To Nagito’s delight and joy, the next time he finished practicing magic, the book filled with more lines. Soon, as though the pages had been withheld, the words and lines filled with abundance, over taking the blank space. Nagito trailed his fingers over the lines each day and smiled wider each time. Magic soon came with ease and if Nagito used it for minor tasks, well, no one was keeping score. Kamukura never said anything and it wasn’t as though Nagito was becoming entirely self reliant on magic. If having an ability meant never using it then Nagito was sure it would be a waste. So, when Kamukura spoke on their way back from the grocery store one day (why Kamukura had wanted to come, Nagito wasn’t entirely sure), the bag that Nagito had enchanted to be just a bit lighter nearly regained its entire weight.

“I’d like to go to Hajime’s place, if that’s all right.”

Nagito gaped and scrambled to regain his control. “Right now?”

“Yes, is that a problem?” Kamukura asked.

“Uh, no.” Nagito tightened his grip on the bag. “It’s not like we have anything that will spoil if we take a detour.”

“I said I. You don’t need to come if you don’t want to.”

Nagito bit his lip as a small sting to his heart radiated. It was true; it wasn’t as though Nagito was necessary. All he had to do was give the address and Kamukura could figure out the rest. However, the unnecessary part dug into Nagito’s heart. He bit his lip.

“I want to come.”

“Then, lead the way.” Kamukura’s tone was neutral. It dug into Nagito’s heart too.

“Fine.” Nagito half snapped. “Let’s go.”

The journey to Hajime’s place was quick considering they were closer to it from the grocery store. Nagito walked down the streets that slowly gained familiar sights: the blue house on the corner, the Lawson at the end of the road, the sign at the intersection… it all blended together until they reached the apartment complex where Hajime’s place sat. Nagito looked up at the complex and exhaled gently, before a sharp tinge of panic hit him.

“I don’t have the key. I suppose I could ask the landlord. He knows me from other visits…”

“I have it.” Kamukura cut in, digging into his pocket. “I didn’t ask this on a whim.”

Nagito’s words dully fell from his lips and the ache of “unnecessary” hit him harshly. Heat burned into Nagito’s cheeks and eyes.

“I see.” Nagito didn’t trust himself to say anything more.

“Though, I’m unsure which apartment number it is.”

The heat instantly snapped away and Nagito almost hit himself with how easily sated he could be. Shoving that away, Nagito walked on ahead. “We’ll need to take the elevator.”

Getting inside the apartment complex was easy with the keys. The elevator was fast and when they stepped inside, Nagito hit the familiar button for floor “5”. A full minute of silence hit before the door opened and they stepped out onto the fifth floor. Nagito walked down the hall and to the door labelled “506”.

“This one.”

Kamukura slotted the key in with ease and unlocked the door with a click. Nagito exhaled sharply and walked inside, following Kamukura. The air smelt stale and the place dusty. Nagito turned the lights on and frowned. The signs of Hajime not being around hit Nagito harshly. Stacked on the small counter by the mail slot were flyers and bill statements. Nagito took those and tucked them by the kitchen counter, where Hajime liked to keep his mail. Kamukura watched him silently before he walked in further and stared at the space, his eyes taking everything in. Nagito’s words caught and silence filled the stale air. Then, Kamukura walked down the small hallway to the bedroom, opening the door. Nagito half followed and watched from the doorway as Kamukura walked inside.

Hajime’s bed was made and neat. The room tidy and books stacked neatly on his desk. The only signs of living were the personal effects on the dresser. Kamukura walked over and touched one of the framed photos. Nagito didn’t have to be inside to know which photo it was. He and Hajime had been twelve years old and at the beach. They had sand in their hair and shovels in their hands. In the distance was a sandcastle they had built. After the photo had been taken the water rushed up and destroyed their work. He smiled.

“Nagito…” Kamukura muttered, his voice shifting into something.

Nagito violently shoved the memory away and stared as Kamukura looked over. Something glimmered in his eyes and the hope that Nagito had shoved away with each line and page that reappeared in the book launched itself wholeheartedly into Nagito’s soul.

“Hajime?” He breathed out.

“Nagito?” Kamukura’s gaze broke into a small frown. “I’m… in my room?”

“Hajime!” Nagito crossed into the room and grabbed Kamukura by the shoulders, turning so they were facing each other. “Is that you?”

“I…” Kamukura’s face twisted and then morphed into something smooth. “Komaeda?”

Nagito’s fingers limply fell from Kamukura’s arms. The hope soured and became bitter. Nagito swallowed dryly. “Kamukura?”

“Yes?” Kamukura’s voice slightly cracked.

Nagito watched and stared as Kamukura, despite the blank expression, had a small tear trail down his face. His gaze furrowed and Kamukura raised his hand and wiped his face. “I’m crying?” He then looked at Nagito for a second. “Hajime surfaced?”

“I… think so. Just for a moment.” Nagito breathed.

“I see.” Kamukura muttered. “Sorry.”

“Sorry?” Nagito’s voice raised sharply. “For what?”

“Sorry that he didn’t fully come back.” Kamukura clarified. “Let’s go.”

A small ache dulled hotly in Nagito’s chest. He frowned and followed Kamukura out. As they left, Nagito noted that Kamukura had taken the photo with him. Nagito didn’t comment.

~

That night Nagito’s dreams swirled with Kamukura and Hajime flashing over each other in a consistent loop, neither one fully taking control. When Nagito woke up he wasn’t sure who his dream had last landed on.

~

Diving headfirst into practicing, if Nagito wasn’t at school or doing homework he was watching the lines in the book reappear at a faster rate than normal. Even if the hours of the day became late and then too early to be up, Nagito continued. Even if Kamukura had come back, the glimpse of Hajime burned within Nagito’s eyes, every time he closed them, and that spurred him to continue.

~

“Take the day off.” Kamukura greeted the following day as Nagito walked into the kitchen.

“What?” Nagito asked with a yawn. “I have classes.”

“What you should have is sleep.” Kamukura replied. “Stop wearing yourself down.”

“I’m not doing anything like that.” Nagito retorted. “It’s just been about six weeks since you’ve been here and Hajime really needs to attend class. People ask me all the time.”

“Another day won’t hurt anyone.” Kamukura walked forward. “Take the day off.”

“No.” Nagito snapped. “I won’t. I have to be responsible. I have classes.”

“You’ll fall asleep before you even eat breakfast.” Kamukura stepped closer to Nagito. “Take. The. Day. Off.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Nagito yawned through his words. “I’m making breakfast and going to class.”

“Sure, of course.” Kamukura dryly shot a look. “Sit down. I’ll make your breakfast.” Nagito eyed him. Kamukura tilted his head to the table. “Sit.” He repeated.

“Fine.” Nagito sighed and sat down. “I want toast and some fruit.”

“Coming right up.” Kamukura answered.

Nagito turned his head and stared out into his living room. The sounds of Kamukura moving about soon faded into the distance. Yawning, Nagito shut his eyes for a second. A second to rest wouldn’t hurt.

~

Nagito woke in his bedroom, covers over his body, and Kamukura sitting at the desk, eating the toast and the fruit. Groaning, Nagito rolled over and glared. Kamukura bit loudly into the toast as though he was protesting Nagito’s motions. Heat filled Nagito’s cheeks as Kamukura polished off the last of the toast and set the plate on the desk. His eyes bore into Nagito’s figure, silent words passing in the air.

“Shut up.” Nagito mumbled. “And I told you to not come into my room.”

“I said nothing.” Kamukura replied. “I wasn’t going to leave you asleep at the table. I consider this situation an extenuating circumstance. Sorry for breaking your rule… Komaeda.”

At least he had dropped the “Master” bit. Nagito scowled. “Well, I’ve missed class now. No sense in trying to go to class.”

“Wise.” Kamukura intoned.

“Shut it.” Nagito sat up. “Now that you’ve made your point, you can leave.”

“It’s boring downstairs.” Kamukura said.

Nagito stared at him. “You’ve stayed at home all day for how long?”

Kamukura shrugged. “First time for everything, which, you’re welcome.” He added very calmly.

Clearly, he was trying to pick a fight. Nagito groaned and glared. “If that’s your snarky way of telling me to thank you, it’s not going to make me want to do it.”

“Worth a try.” Kamukura didn’t raise his voice. “I just thought that when someone shows concern over your well being most people thank them. Am I wrong?”

Nagito’s face burned a little but out of what emotion, he wasn’t sure. Ducking his head under the covers, Nagito reminded himself that he was attempting to be nicer to Kamukura. Besides, genuine concern or not, Kamukura had carried Nagito to his bed. Not the first time that had happened but the first time it had happened without Nagito’s direct input beforehand.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Komaeda.” At least Kamukura wasn’t gloating. “When you’re feeling awake, we can practice more magic.”

~

They practiced magic that morning all through the afternoon and into the evening. When they finished, Nagito was gasping and his muscles were aching but more lines in the book were appearing. Wiping his forehead, Nagito turned to leave the park they had inhabited when Kamukura suddenly spoke.

“Tell me more about Hajime.”

Whipping his head to face Kamukura, Nagito blinked. “What?”

“Tell me about Hajime.” Kamukura repeated without falter. “I’m curious.”

Nagito opened his mouth and then shut it, looking at the sky. “It’s late. Let’s head home. I’ll tell you on the way.”

“All right.” Kamukura stood up.

They walked to the park’s exit. Nagito stared out into the streets, his brain racing through countless memories and moments. Finally, as they crossed the intersection, Nagito spoke.

“Hajime and I once missed our bus to school. We were still middle school students and we didn’t have phones quite yet. So, instead of turning back and walking home to explain, we ran from the bus stop to the school. It was the first time we were ever late for class. After we were talked to by the office and our homeroom teacher, I couldn’t help but think if I was to get in trouble, I’d want no one else at my side but Hajime. It was the first time I think I realised I was in love with him.”

“That early?” Kamukura softly asked.

“Yeah.” Nagito laughed. “Though I didn’t label the feeling as love. Hajime and I were always together, our friends even said so. Hajime always said it was because we lived close, but even now, in university, Hajime is the one I see the most. Sure, we had other friends in school, but never as close as Hajime. I think I finally called it love in our second year of high school. A girl named Nanami Chiaki was getting close to Hajime. Some rumours spread that they were dating and it was the first time I ever avoided walking home with Hajime.”

“Jealousy?”

Nagito snorted. “Now that I’m older, yes, I recognise it as jealousy. The rumours hurt more than I anticipated. Here I was, friends with Hajime for years and suddenly because Nanami is a girl Hajime has to be with her? No one ever wondered if we were dating simply because we’re both boys?”

“What happened after?”

“Hajime chased me down, of course.” Nagito laughed. “I couldn’t tell him why but he never pressed. All he asked was I don’t avoid him again and if I wanted to talk to him I could. Sometimes I think that was the part where I should have told him I wanted to date him. I never did.”

“Which is why you two live separately?”

“I suppose.” Nagito tilted his head. “That and, even if we were dating, I wouldn’t want to immediately jump to living together. Everyone needs space and time to figure themselves out before such a commitment.”

“That’s a level-headed answer.” Kamukura turned the corner. “When Hajime’s back will you tell him, you love him?”

“Yes, I will.” Nagito said so quickly it nearly burned his tongue getting the words off his lips. “I cannot allow fear to hold me back. Not having Hajime around has taught me this.”

“Again, very level-headed of you.”

Nagito hummed and then saw his place in view. Their conversation dropped as he opened the door and allowed them inside. As Nagito took his shoes off, Kamukura gently touched his arm. Nagito turned and nearly headbutted Kamukura.

“What?” Nagito asked.

“What about me?” Kamukura asked. “Living with me isn’t too difficult, is it?”

“Uh… no?” Nagito traced his memories back. “You’re not wanting space, are you? You could always go to Hajime’s place if that’s what you want?”

“So, you find it easy to accommodate me?”

“What are you getting at?” Nagito stared. “Is this your way of telling me you’ve done something? You haven’t broken anything, have you?”

“No, of course not.” Kamukura pulled away. “I was merely curious.”

“Okay…”

“Tell me more about Hajime.” Kamukura easily pulled Nagito back on track. “Simple things.”

“Oh… okay.” Nagito muttered, “I’ll do that over dinner.”

Facts about Hajime flowed easily from Nagito’s lips as he cooked, ate, and did dishes. Kamukura never interrupted and when Nagito finished the dishes, his voice a bit sore from talking, Kamukura gave a small smile.

“I see, you really do love Hajime.”

“I do.” Nagito muttered.

“Thanks for telling me these things.” Kamukura politely said. “Have a good rest of your evening.”

Nagito opened his mouth and then suddenly flushed hotly. He had been so wrapped up in his world that beyond eating with Kamukura and seeing him for practicing, there were gaps in his knowledge.

“Wait. Do you… do you want a bath? Or do you need baths?” Nagito asked. “Or a room?” He then winced. “Have you been… sleeping on the couch this entire time?”

“No and no.” Kamukura gave an almost amused snort. “I’m a magical being. I can magic things away and I don’t need sleep. Still, your offer is kind.”

“But you eat…”

“I do that because I like it.” Kamukura replied.

“Oh… okay.” Nagito’s cheeks tinted pink. “Still, the offer stands. Maybe you’ll find baths enjoyable and sleep enjoyable?”

Kamukura stared at Nagito for a long moment. Nagito shifted. Then, Kamukura gave a snort. “Very well, I’ll try a bath.”

Nagito beamed. “I have an extra towel and clothing. Do you need me to show you have to run the tub and shower head?”

“I think I can handle it.” Kamukura walked ahead. “Still… thank you for the offer.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll go grab the extra towels. Wait a second.”

Nagito rushed to the linen closet and for a moment, his chest loosened and a smile filled his face.

Kamukura emerged from the bathroom a good forty minutes later. Nagito looked up from his laptop. “Well?”

“It… was enjoyable.” Kamukura rubbed the towel around his shoulders, catching the damp hair.

“Glad to hear.” Nagito saved his work and stood up, stretching. “I’m going for my bath.”

“Take your time.” Kamukura called after him.

Nagito did just that. Sure, he didn’t need to wash his hair but after the quick shower, Nagito sunk into his tub and relaxed in the heat. Smiling, he flicked the water and watched the steam rise. When he exited, dried, and dressed in his pajamas, Nagito walked out to the kitchen. Kamukura was sitting at the table with the book in hand, open, turning the pages. Nagito stopped in the entrance to the kitchen. Kamukura looked up and showed the book.

“It’s almost done.” He announced softly. “One more page.”

“Really?” Nagito’s heart fluttered and he moved across the room, towards Kamukura. “Let me see.”

Kamukura handed the book over and sure enough, as Nagito flipped through the book he came across filled page after filled page, until he came to the last page, which was indeed blank on both sides. Looking up to speak to Kamukura, Nagito didn’t have time to open his mouth. Kamukura pulled Nagito in and kissed him.

Unlike their first kiss, this kiss was gently heated. Kamukura dragged Nagito down, until Nagito’s legs buckled and their lips seared at a proper angle. Nagito half collapsed into Kamukura’s chest. Warm arms wrapped around Nagito and dragging him into the kiss, Kamukura pried Nagito’s mouth open gently. Their tongues curled and coiled and soon heat filled Nagito’s entire chest. When they pulled away, Kamukura licked his lips and swallowed thickly. His eyes danced with something that pulled and tugged at the surface. Nagito touched his lips.

“I thought our agreement was you weren’t going to kiss me again.”

“Are you telling me you didn’t enjoy that?” Kamukura asked.

“I… that isn’t the point.”

“Just answer me.”

Nagito swallowed. A steely edge took Kamukura’s tone, compelling Nagito to answer. “I enjoyed it.”

“Then, what’s the problem?” Kamukura inquired.

“You… I like Hajime.”

“Yes, and?” Kamukura tilted his head. “I won’t be around for much longer.”

“That’s reason enough to steal a kiss?”

“Is it stealing when you kissed me back?”

Nagito stared at Kamukura. “What are you playing at? Sure, we’re civil but civil is a huge jump to kissing me. And what’s that reasoning anyways? “Won’t be around much longer”?” Nagito eyed Kamukura. “Why does it matter? You don’t like me and I don’t like you so—”

“So, let’s change that.” Kamukura cut in.

“I… what?”

“Let’s change you not liking me.” Kamukura said. “It sounds like Hajime never even noticed you like him, so what if he doesn’t like you in that way? What if you’re throwing me away and chasing a dream? An illusion? You’ll have to watch your heart break and shatter. So, don’t take the risk.”

Not… take the risk. Nagito pulled away from Kamukura, eyes watering and hot anger filling him. “You think I’m just saving Hajime because I love him?”

“Isn’t that what you were saying all this evening? How wonderful Hajime is? How you’ve been pining from afar? What else is spurring your actions?”

The anger burned and then cooled into an icy breeze. “I don’t know, what about friendship? Companionship? Because no matter what Hajime is my friend, regardless if he returns my feelings? I’m not so blindsided that I think just because I save Hajime, he’ll return my affections.” Nagito grabbed the book. “I think we’re done for this evening.”

Kamukura snorted. “Humans are always so ready to take the highroad, to think they’re so humble. No one does anything without desire. Even if they think it’s selfless, in the end, they want something out of it. In the end, you’re all chasing the illusion of goodness. You’re no different.” Kamukura stood up. “Do you really think you’ll be fine with simply being friends with Hajime? You said so yourself earlier, how Nanami and the rumour really bothered you—”

Nagito took two large strides towards Kamukura and smacked him with the book, right across the shoulder. His heart pounded and blood rushed through Nagito’s body. Kamukura barely flinched and simply stared back at Nagito. Nagito hissed, the anger swelling inside of his body, leaking.

“You’re no different either.” Nagito hissed. “You want me to not try to save Hajime because you want me to love you. Isn’t that selfish too?”

“Yes, it is.” Kamukura easily replied, grabbing Nagito’s wrist. “The difference is, I’m honest. Hearing you talk about Hajime was very eye opening. It’s admirable how much you love him and treasure your relationship. It’s also sending the hottest of jealousies within me.”

Nagito stared, words leaving his mouth.

“I never disliked you.” Kamukura told Nagito. “Not even when you were convinced, I was purposefully taking over Hajime’s body. Now, I may be attached to Hajime, and maybe my feelings are a mix of his friendship with you, but I’m not Hajime. My feelings are mine and the desire to drag you down and kiss you senseless is pulsing in my body. Ever since I did it to shut you up, the desire won’t disappear.”

He then tugged Nagito in closer. “So, yes, I’m selfish. I am jealous of a man I don’t even know and a man whose emotions may be muddling my own, but bottom line is, my desire is real. I want you, Nagito but I cannot make you love me. So, go ahead, do what you wish. You’ll only need one more practice session and then the pages will be filled. I merely wanted to let you know the risk you could be taking.”

Kamukura then leaned so close that his breath ran across Nagito’s face. Nagito’s heart jumped and his mind shut down. “But, regardless of your choice, grant me one request.” Kamukura then leaned towards Nagito’s ear and whispered into it. “Let me show you how I feel.”

Nagito’s heart and brain started so abruptly that the action burned and coiled within him, malfunctioning. Opening his mouth, Nagito knew the right answer was to walk away and leave Kamukura. The right answer was to finish a practice session and bring Hajime back, never thinking about this again. Instead, Kamukura’s words tugged at Nagito’s heart. Love with Hajime had always been so clear that losing him hadn’t even muddled his path. It wasn’t until Kamukura pointing out the boundaries in their friendship that Nagito started to see fog. Uncertainties and certainties all rushed towards him in a violent sweep of opaque and translucent until Nagito swept them away, attempting to clear a path.

Perhaps, Kamukura was right. Perhaps, Nagito was foolish. Perhaps he was chasing a pipe dream. Maybe Kamukura was even manipulating Nagito into the choice. Who knew? Nagito wasn’t certain but what he knew was love couldn’t be doubted, both his love for Hajime and Kamukura’s love for him. Doubting it was rude and cruel. Denying Kamukura’s feelings was the same as stepping on his heart.

So, Nagito nodded. “Take me.”

Kamukura pulled Nagito in and kissed him hotly. “Gladly.” He whispered against Nagito’s lips.

~

Kamukura left bruises and welts on Nagito. His kisses were rough and his touch aching. As Nagito gasped into the touch, he wondered if this was Kamukura’s way of telling him he wasn’t going to be forgotten. He wasn’t going to allow Nagito to forget this night. He was going to leave Nagito aching and replaying the memories of his moans and arches into pleasure. Kamukura wasn’t going to allow Nagito to sweep his feelings under the rug. And Nagito, for better or worse, wasn’t going to insult Kamukura in that way. It was like a spell had been cast over the room and each word escaping Nagito’s lips and Kamukura’s lips only wove a tighter spell over them. Each word being recorded and written along the air and their bodies.

So, Nagito arched into the touches, moaned Kamukura’s name, and when he fell apart by Kamukura’s hands, Nagito allowed himself to slip completely into oblivion, losing himself into the pleasure like true lovers would. The kisses on the back of his neck branded Nagito as he came undone and for a moment, Nagito wouldn’t have had it any other way.

When Kamukura finally groaned Nagito’s name for the last time and bit into Nagito’s neck, he brushed a whisper against Nagito’s skin.

“Thank you.” He muttered. “I love you.”

Nagito nodded and in the moment, the perfect capsule of time, he meant every word as he replied. “I love you too.”

~

The next morning, Nagito woke with Hajime pressed against his back. The heat was languid, warm, and the air soft. Nagito bolted up and stared, his throat dry. Scrambling up, Nagito winced as he collapsed to the ground, blankets tangling with his legs. The thump caused Hajime’s eyes to flutter open and Nagito flushed hotly. Here he was, naked, marked with bruises and bite marks, and no other explanation on his lips other than the truth. Hajime’s eyes opened and Nagito noted that one was red and the other the hazel he had memorised since they were young. All words escaped Nagito and all he could do was stare.

“Nagito?” Hajime yawned before sitting up, “What are you doing?”

“I’m… I’m…” Nagito’s face burned. “I’m sorry. There is an explanation for this, albeit not logical but—”

Hajime raised his hand and gave a soft smile. “I know.”

Nagito snapped his jaw shut. “Know what?”

“What happened.” Hajime repeated. “I think it was Kamukura’s gift to us? Or maybe just to you? It doesn’t matter, so, why don’t you come back to bed?”

Kamukura’s… what? “I don’t understand.”

“Just come here and cuddle me.” Hajime sighed. “Please?”

Well… how could Nagito say no? He scrambled in and curled into bed with Hajime gingerly. Hajime curled his fingers into Nagito’s hair. Nagito stiffened, trying to arrange his thoughts.

“I can hear your thinking.” Hajime muttered. “Just, hear me out. When you two… were intimate… you subconsciously were finishing the spells in the book. Kamukura’s theory was correct and it brought me back. Except, since he was involved in uh… getting you to cast the spell, he was able to influence the spell. He gifted me his memories before he faded.”

It took a solid minute for Nagito to process the words. He then flushed and stared up at Hajime. “So… wait… he coaxed me into bed… rather rudely, just to… pass his memories on? That’s rather kind.”

“You think?” Hajime asked with a half laugh. “I think it’s more for your sake than mine. Sort of a “I was with Nagito first but he likes you so treat him right”?” Hajime then smoothed his hands over Nagito’s body. “It’s his strange way of saying he loves you and at the same time respects your feelings.”

Nagito flushed. “Is he fully gone? Kamukura?”

“I don’t know.” Hajime’s honesty was warm. He then closed his eyes. “Though… I think an ember of him still burns in me, so, maybe not?”

“Oh…” Nagito didn’t know what to do with the information.

“Regardless, your fears over my affections…” Hajime flushed. “I’m sorry I gave you that impression. I guess I have a lot to make up for, starting with this.” Hajime gently ran his fingers through Nagito’s hair. “Nagito, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Nagito stared at Hajime before his heart combusted. “Really? This isn’t lingering regret or Kamukura guilting you?”

“I assure you it isn’t.” Hajime replied with a laugh. “I admit, this wasn’t how I envisioned asking you out, but if the situation fits…”

“Yes.” Nagito breathed. “I’d like that. I want to date you.”

Hajime smiled and hugged Nagito. “Sorry this isn’t how you’d traditionally ask someone out.”

Nagito hugged Hajime back. “Our past almost six weeks haven’t been traditional at all. I think I can handle one more non-traditional event.”

**Author's Note:**

> Master: Kamukura calls Nagito that because he's the one who is gifted the magic in the first place and he is a result of the book being opened
> 
> Staff: I just like the imagery of magic with staffs/wands
> 
> Powers: The logistics of getting the magic and how they got the magic and the origin of magic wasn't too important to me so don't worry too much over it. (I don't have a backstory planned for that.)
> 
> "I'm home": A common phrase said in Japan when you're back (with the responding "Welcome home" as a reply) AKA "Tadaima" and "Okaeri".
> 
> "If someone could control their luck they'd be miserable": You don't say, Nagito???
> 
> Baths: Traditional Japanese baths are a completely tiled room where you can shower and then soak in the tub and I'm going to forever say that I miss my home in Japan (and my tub).
> 
> Kamukura's points/Hajime in the end/Kamukura's gift: I want to clarify that Kamukura knew all along how Hajime feels about Nagito. He also knows how he feels and while Hajime's affections for Nagito may feel out of left field, know that Nagito's POV is limited. He is flawed as a character and doesn't have all the details. Kamukura's hypothetical situations were there to try and give Nagito another perspective. In the end, Nagito and Hajime were both pining for each other but Nagito wasn't aware and Kamukura was so his gift was shoving them together while also having a single night with Nagito (because he's his own person and does hold his own feelings towards Nagito).


End file.
